Spite below the cut.

“why you always beg for money? get a job goddamn”

I can’t answer this lovely person’s ask because they’ve been blocked, but! I’ll make a lil response here. :>

And first of all, I don’t think this anon understands what “paying an artist for their work” is. I put a massive amount of my time into my blogs on top of being a full time student with severe mental health problems, and I do it almost entirely for free. It’s not a stretch to ask that I get some support during what’s been one of the hardest mental health periods of my life.

I don’t lie about why I’d like to get paid for what I do. It does go towards my hobbies, most often. However, those hobbies are also a big part of why I haven’t severely injured if not killed myself. They’re how I keep my mental health together.

I’m not demanding that people pay me, either. I’m asking for support because I put a lot of time and effort into what I do– time where I could be getting a job and never looking back. A job would pay more. It would pay a lot more. But I want to be here and I want to write. I’m a full time student and I’m disabled. I can’t do everything, and I definitely wouldn’t be able to write like I do if I had a normal job. Honestly, I’d love if this could be my job.

So, dear anon, the reason why I don’t get a job is because I’m choosing to be here, writing so that you can enjoy it.

Or rather, I would be, if you hadn’t been removed from my blog 🙂

Spite below the cut.

“why you always beg for money? get a job goddamn”

I can’t answer this lovely person’s ask because they’ve been blocked, but! I’ll make a lil response here. :>

So, dear anon, the reason why I don’t get a job is because I’m choosing to be here, writing so that you can enjoy it.

Or rather, I would be, if you hadn’t been removed from my blog 🙂

I’m still,, mostly here. I’m not doing good though, like, at all. My issues with suicidal ideation are back full force, my social circle has been dwindling, I’m so depressed that college is all I can really keep up with, I’ve been sick, and I apparently look so exhausted that one of my instructors happily excused me from missing a meeting with her.

I want to write, but all I really have energy for are the things that I’m really, really excited about. Which, unfortunately, hasn’t been requests. I’m kinda considering deleting everything out of the inbox and starting fresh, just in the hopes that new requests will make me actually write something… If I get in a mood for DL/request writing I’ll probably do more, but support, both for my other writing and in general, would be much appreciated.

Ok this might be triggering but what if really depressed owner asks them to bring her some water and at the procces she locks her bedroom door, the boys can hear disturbing noises from inside and then its eerily quite(lets assume in a moment of adreniline they broke the door and saw light from the bathroom and broke it too) what do they do when they see their owner lying in a tub full of blood?

Admin Mawile: (´；д；`)

Shuu:

-If you’re this determined to get rid of yourself, what exactly is he expected to do? If there’s anything he can do to keep you alive, he’ll help, but it’s not like he can control a human. It’d be better for him just to get used to the fact that you’re not going to be around much longer.

Reiji:

-He does not want to lose the one owner who’s shown some kind of affection for him. He’ll do whatever he can to help, and hopefully, whatever you did to yourself won’t be too damaging. He’s a bit afraid of going against your will, but he’d much rather be punished than re-homed.

Ayato:

-He outright panics, and winds up so upset that he cant think to do anything to help. He’s more or less useless in a crisis, especially because he’s not used to having to react to trouble quickly. He doesn’t want to lose you. You’re the first human to be anything resembling nice to him, after all.

Kanato:

-At first, he’s just fascinated by the blood, not really thinking of what it means. He’s rarely all there mentally, and it takes him a little while to realize that this is something you could die from. Once it sets in, he’ll try his best to get help, but has a hard time speaking out to other humans.

Laito:

-Of course, the one human to treat him with anything resembling kindness is going to die. Even if he helps, you’re probably pretty determined to off yourself, so he doesn’t really know what good it would do. He’d hate to lose someone so kind, though, so he’ll at least do something to make sure you make it.

Subaru:

-He panics from the very start, terrified that any attempt of his to help will just make things worse for you. He can’t see himself doing anything but harm in a situation like this, and he’s frozen with the fear that he could actually lose the kindest human he’s ever been able to be near.

Ruki:

-He absolutely does not want to lose out on the best home he’d ever been able to imagine having, and is determined to make sure you’ll survive. He really has no idea what to do to help, though, and winds up being rather clumsy in his attempts, forcing him to seek help from someone else.

Kou:

-The moment he sees blood, he shuts down, curling himself into a tiny ball in the corner and struggling to breathe. Whether he’d want to help or not, there’s little he can think to do when he’s like this, and spends much more time panicking than doing anything that would actually be helpful.

Yuuma:

-He has one of the more practical responses, seeking out help from someone who will actually know what they’re doing. He may know what to do with minor injuries, but this is far beyond anything he’s ever had to deal with. All he can really do is hope that you’re going to make it.

Azusa:

-At first, it doesn’t quite register to him that all the blood is a bad thing. Once it finally sets in, he tries to shake you awake, gentle pressing at your shoulders and hoping you’ll open you’re eyes. He’s not the most helpful, and the gravity of the situation doesn’t really hit him until much later.

Carla:

-Dutifully, he’ll seek out help, hoping that you’re going to be alright. You’re by far the kindest owner he’s ever experienced, and he’d much, much rather you stick around. He just hopes that other humans will be able to talk you out of whatever caused this whole mess in the first place.

Shin:

-A part of him thinks that he should be happy that another human is going to be gone, but then he realizes that he legitimately doesn’t want to lose you. He’ll get help, but hate himself for it later, pride insisting that he shouldn’t have let someone who owns him force him to keep a human alive.

Pet Au. The boys had lived under the care of a very kind owner for many years. Now, the owner is on their death bed. How would they react when their owner thanks them for being the best pet and companion they could have before they die? (I read before that their lifespan is 200 years or less? It’s short but their still able to out live their owners if it’s like that.)

Admin Mawile: (⌣_⌣”)

Shuu:

-Soon after you pass away, he falls into a total depression, losing all will to live. You were the only thing in his life that mattered, and there’s no point in sticking around if the one kind human in the world is gone. He’ll likely soon be dead too, either from self-neglect or being put down.

Reiji:

-It’s the natural course of things for humans to pass away long before vampires do, and he should be able to accept it. Hopefully you’ll have some kind relative willing to take him in, or some plan in your will for his care, otherwise, he really will be doomed.

Ayato:

-He becomes almost frantic after you die, convinced that no other human will ever want him. He’s not a young vampire now, and even though your ownership has left a glowing mark on his record, he’s most likely doomed to be forgotten, completely worthless without you there.

Kanato:

-After your death, he loses all desire to stick around the world without you, and most likely makes an attempt on his own life. There’s no point in living if you’re not there, and he fully intends to follow you into death, rather than stick around and be sold off to someone who could never measure up to you.

Laito:

-After an owner passes away, pets are either passed on to someone in their will, taken in by a relative, or sold off to someone willing to take something used. Either way, his future is rather bleak, and he thoroughly expects to be miserable now that the one kind human in the world is gone.

Subaru:

-There’s no way anyone but you would ever take him in, and surely, now that you’re gone, he has no future but to be put down and sent to join you. For once, through, he doesn’t mind the idea of dying one bit. At least then, he won’t have to keep on living without you.

Ruki:

-Even though you’ll be leaving a good mark on his record, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll ever be adopted again. As a low quality vampire, his life span isn’t much beyond yours, and few humans will be interested in an aging, mixed breed vampire with little to his name but one good owner.

Kou:

-He’s absolutely distraught, and almost certainly tries to off himself soon after. You’re the only human he could ever imagine trusting, and even if he was adopted again, there’s no guarantee that whoever took him in would even be worth living with. He’d much sooner be reunited with you.

Yuuma:

-He’s horribly distressed by your passing, and is absolutely terrified of what kind of owner he could possibly wind up with next, if any. Yes, it’s probably more likely that he’ll never find a home again, and be sent to join you even sooner than his half breed life span would allow.

Azusa:

-He’s gotten so attached to you over the years that he’ll never be the same, never be able to adapt to another owner for as long as he has left to live. He won’t try to kill himself, but he’ll remain so despondent and distant that he’ll likely be put down to save the costs of caring for him.

Carla:

-Despite missing you horribly, he knows that this is just a part of his species’ life. If anything, it’s a shock that he ever managed to outlive you. The only comfort in the matter is that, with his illness and whatever life he still has, it surely won’t be long until he’s with you again.

Shin:

-First Bloods have a rather long lifespan, and he knew from the beginning that you would be but a part of it. He’ll be auctioned off to someone else, now, someone who could never be as kind as you were, and every part of him wishes he was worthless enough to just be allowed to follow you.

some sad headcanons about reiji, kou, and laito for the pet!au?

Admin Mawile: (ц｀ω´ц*) I get too much joy out of this type of angst~

Reiji:

-His entire self worth centers around earning an owner. If he’s not good enough to be adopted, than he’s better off dead. No one will ever want him if he can’t please them, and he’s devoted his entire being to becoming the most obedient, well-behaved pet imaginable.

-Being worthless is his ultimate fear, and anything that even hints at it upsets him horribly. If one of his more troubled brothers got adopted before him, or if an owner ever returned him or threw him away, he would shut down, unable to handle the idea that he has no value.

Kou:

-He was rented out to torture at the shelter, and bears numerous scars from that time. Despite being small and weak, he was defanged for no reason other than the patrons entertainment, and has permanent marks from everything from knife wounds to burns, severe enough to never fully heal.

-Because of how useless he is to his brothers, he has strongly considered just ending his own life and getting out of their way. All he can do is stayed curled up and fighting off nightmares, unable to even function from the trauma haunting him, so they’d have to be better off without him.

Laito:

-Although he’d sooner die than mention it to anyone, he was used as a certain type of pet for a while. While he was still cute enough to be profitable, his breeder sought out some extra money from the practice, which went on for a couple years until age took away his appeal.

-He is entirely unable to trust humans, and believes them all to be only out for their own benefit. Even an owner would only keep him until he lost his worth, and none of them would ever care about hum beyond their own happiness. As soon as he loses his worth, they’d turn on him.